How to be confident at work and get over imposter syndrome in 6 steps.
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Impostor Syndrome is a term
coined in 1978 by clinical psychologists Clance and Imes. It refers to
high-achieving individuals who have a persistent fear of being ‘found
out’ and are unable to recognise and accept their accomplishments.
Basically, it means feeling like you have a flashing light over your
head, saying ‘fraud’, at all times.
Despite evidence of their talents and competence, women exhibiting the syndrome remain convinced they don’t deserve the success they have achieved, which they attribute to luck or timing - being in the right place at the right time.
Despite evidence of their talents and competence, women exhibiting the syndrome remain convinced they don’t deserve the success they have achieved, which they attribute to luck or timing - being in the right place at the right time.
And it’s a syndrome that stays with us, regardless of our seniority.
This ‘affliction’ is extremely limiting and damaging for career success. Feeling like an imposter stops women from taking on challenges for fear they won’t succeed (critical for career progression); asking for help as it would show weakness; and saying “no” - so women take on more than they can manage.
Feeling a fraud makes women feel uncomfortable about accepting praise and they discount it and put themselves down.
This ‘affliction’ is extremely limiting and damaging for career success. Feeling like an imposter stops women from taking on challenges for fear they won’t succeed (critical for career progression); asking for help as it would show weakness; and saying “no” - so women take on more than they can manage.
Feeling a fraud makes women feel uncomfortable about accepting praise and they discount it and put themselves down.
It also holds us back from accepting our own worth and negotiating our own careers successfully. The gender pay gap – which we learnt, this week, hasn’t moved much in the past four years – isn’t solely the fault of businesses and the Government.
Many well-known women are cited as having experienced it: Sheryl Sandberg, Kate Winslet, Emma Watson and Dr. Margaret Chan, the Chief of the World Heath Organisation, to name a few.
When I returned to work as a Charted Surveyor, after a lengthy career break, I experienced it myself. As I sat my new desk, surrounded by men, I thought I must have deceived them at the interview.
I didn’t recognise or value my newly acquired skills from motherhood, my intelligence or my ‘feminine leadership’ qualities. I assumed that all the men were more knowledgeable and expert than me, and I questioned that I could add any value to the team.
After three months, I left, despite the protestations of the partner at my exit interview. I did not believe him when he said that it was sad to see me go.
So what can you do to overcome imposter syndrome? It’s a topic I tackled recently in front of a roomful of women at the first Telegraph Women leadership breakfast.
Many well-known women are cited as having experienced it: Sheryl Sandberg, Kate Winslet, Emma Watson and Dr. Margaret Chan, the Chief of the World Heath Organisation, to name a few.
When I returned to work as a Charted Surveyor, after a lengthy career break, I experienced it myself. As I sat my new desk, surrounded by men, I thought I must have deceived them at the interview.
I didn’t recognise or value my newly acquired skills from motherhood, my intelligence or my ‘feminine leadership’ qualities. I assumed that all the men were more knowledgeable and expert than me, and I questioned that I could add any value to the team.
After three months, I left, despite the protestations of the partner at my exit interview. I did not believe him when he said that it was sad to see me go.
So what can you do to overcome imposter syndrome? It’s a topic I tackled recently in front of a roomful of women at the first Telegraph Women leadership breakfast.
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Why do so many women feel like frauds?
6 ways to banish imposter syndrome
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Phone a friend
Talking about or ‘voicing’ your limiting thoughts can help you get them in perspective, so you see them for what they are - most likely irrational and not true. Are others really better qualified or more experienced than you? Are you sure? Perhaps they are they just more confident? My suggestion is if you don’t feel confident, try feeling passionate instead - and let your passion shine through.
- A problem shared
“Ask for help” – a great piece of advice given by Vivien Hunt, Managing Partner of global management consulting firm McKinsey. When you’re not coping, or are feeling vulnerable, give yourself what I call ‘SOS’ moments. Be Sincere, be Open and Share. Don’t expect people (men) to read your mind and offer to help. You need to ask for advice and support from your manager, colleague or mentor. Don’t forget to ask for help at home too – it’s a misconception that you have to ‘do it all’. - Blag!
In my role as Head of the Training Academy at Voice at the Table, I developed the ‘Female Art of Blagging with Integrity’. Men blag - they go for jobs based on their potential, whereas women look at their past performance and think “I can’t do it because I haven’t done it yet”. Women need to learn to blag because meritocracy doesn’t serve us in the work place. Blagging doesn’t have to be cunning or deceptive, it is actually getting what you want by persuasion. Even better, it’s an acronym. So be Bright (get noticed and put yourself forward), be Learned (be an expert, your qualifications and experience will substantiate that you are not a fraud), be Audacious (take bold risks, and in the words of Dame Carol Black, Principal of Newnham College, Cambridge, “Have a go” or live to regret the cost of inaction) and be Gutsy (show spirited determination, be positive and insistent). - Fake it till you believe it
Rather than fake it till you make it. Psychologist Amy Cuddy’s research shows that Power Posing changes your hormone balance. By adopting a strong, expanded pose for two minutes your levels of Cortisol (stress hormone) decreases and your levels of testosterone increases, giving your confidence a boost and making you believe you can do it. - Wallow-not
Don’t ruminate over what goes wrong. Women revisit, pick over, and blame themselves. Instead focus on what’s gone well and what you can learn from the experience - there is always a silver lining. Look at entrepreneurs: when they make mistakes they pick themselves up, gather data, sweep up and move on. - . B
This stands for ‘stop - breathe’. In moments of anxiety and doubt, stop and take a breath. This has three benefits. Firstly when you breathe in, you create a pause in time, when you can reset yourself. During the pause our more deliberate thinking processes can catch up with our involuntary flight or fight response, the “I can’t do it” paralysis that can set in. It gives our ‘human’ brain a chance to catch up with out ‘chimp’ brain and we then have a greater ability to choose our response. Secondly, the pause creates a space, in which we can exude a powerful presence. And lastly, when you breathe in you smile. Try it now - breathe in. Smiling triggers positive emotions and makes you feel happier, calmer and confident.
- Why women should stop sabotaging their own careers and climb the 'jungle gym'
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